This series is dedicated to the memory of Dorina Kalaty, Esther bat Eliyahou A”H, a beloved Torah teacher in our community who left us too soon.
In our previous post, we discussed the first prayer of Moshe Rabbenu in the aftermath of the sin of the Golden Calf. This week, I would like to focus on how we can apply the lessons learned from that incident to our own prayers for forgiveness.
Once we acknowledge we have sinned in some way, we also recognize that we are vulnerable to the consequences of our actions. We then turn to Hashem to pardon us and shield us from the impact of our errors. But WHY are we seeking forgiveness from God?
Faced with their own failures, many people approach Hashem out of guilt and fear, just hoping to persuade Him to spare them from suffering any punishment. They operate as if the objective of prayer is to change God’s view of the situation and to convince Him to set aside the principles of justice and treat them mercifully.
However, it is important to remember that consequences are built into the Divine system of governance for a reason – they serve to educate us “the hard way” and to deter us from pursuing bad choices in the future. Simply succumbing to pressure and canceling our punishment (if we could even imagine Hashem doing that!) would reinforce our sense of complacency and irresponsibility and would not actually help us.
From the prayers of Moshe Rabbenu, we are introduced to a totally different way of seeking forgiveness. Moshe pleaded with Hashem to pardon the Jewish people for the sin of the Golden Calf, not just because their annihilation would be unpleasant and tragic, but because it would mean a terrible desecration of God’s name in the world. He shifted the focus from the immediate existential crisis of his nation to the timeless and transcendent plan of the Almighty. In this manner, forgiveness itself took on a new meaning – it was no longer about saving the Jews from physical destruction but about saving Hashem’s name from global desecration.
Similarly, when we have sinned, rather than focus on how to avoid the consequences destined to befall us personally, we engage in tefillah, reflection upon our place in God’s creation. Genuine tefillah challenges us to rethink what the impact of Divine punishment would really be, above and BEYOND our own interest in survival, comfort or convenience.
When we step back and “judge ourselves” in light of the bigger picture of God’s plan, we reconnect to our mission as Jews and recommit ourselves to the values that are of utmost importance in life. We are then reminded of the fact that our success on this planet is not measured by how much the world bends to fulfill our desires but by the extent to which we rise up to fulfill the transcendent purpose to which we have been called. This means that the greatest harm we suffer as a result of our bad choices is not the absence of certain kinds of physical or emotional pleasure or the endurance of certain kinds of physical or emotional pain, but the loss of some of our precious ability to serve Hashem with devotion.
Maimonides explains that the reason we should pray for health, wealth, justice or peace is not because these items have intrinsic significance. It is because when we are sick, struggling financially, depressed or enmeshed in conflict, it is much more difficult to study Torah and perform mitzvot. When we are secure and settled in our material and social lives, when we are healthy and happy, it is much easier to direct our energies to the purpose for which we were created – studying Hashem’s wisdom, fulfilling His commandments, and sanctifying His name in the world.
The same applies to forgiveness. We ask Hashem to spare us the pain, frustration and suffering we deserve, NOT because our comfort and enjoyment is an end in its own right, but because it is much more challenging for us to serve God in a state of distress than it would be in a state of satisfaction. And it is this transformation in perspective, this moving away from a focus on our own desires and toward fulfillment of the will of God, that has the power to earn us the gift of atonement. We may now hope for a different response from Hashem, not because we talked Him out of His intended course of action, but because we have managed to talk ourselves out of our own intended course of action. The whole reason we seek His pardon has fundamentally changed.
This helps us to understand one of the fascinating aspects of our traditional prayers for forgiveness. We repeatedly ask Hashem to grant us atonement “for the sake of His name.” We say “do not act for our sake, but for Your sake.” At first, this seems like an odd way to approach God. How can we claim to know what is better “for Him” than he does, and to encourage Him to act in His own best interests? Now, however, we can appreciate the idea behind these phrases.
When we turn to Hashem in pursuit of forgiveness, we do so not because we feel entitled to it or have a right to demand it. On the contrary, strict justice may require that we be taken to task for our misdeeds. And as long as our attention is occupied with our own wishes, needs and desires, it will be impossible to justify any request for a Divine reprieve. But shifting our focus to God’s name and God’s plan changes everything.
When we engage in authentic tefillah, we ask God for special consideration and forgiveness, not out of a sense of self-importance, but out of a sense of the importance of the mission for which we, as the Jewish people, were chosen. In the merit of our rededication to the purpose of sanctifying Hashem’s name and perfecting His world, we ask that He spare us the frustration, distraction and disturbance of punishment, and grant us the health, wealth, happiness and peace that we need in order to serve Him wholeheartedly.
Once again, when we pray it is we who change our perspective, making ourselves newly worthy to receive the Divine blessing of forgiveness.
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